"10 Things To Do When Someone
You Love Disappoints You"

by Nancy Sebastian Meyer

1. Know God is with you in this situation.  Furthermore, He’s known every detail since before you were born. He knows how it is going to turn out...and He can work it out for your good and His glory!  (Psalm 139:13-16)
2. Allow yourself to be a human being with feelings such as anger, frustration, hurt, and sadness.  Things like tears, the need to talk it out with a friend, the desire to punch a pillow
   (a pillow is less costly than breakable china!)--these are natural results of stress.
   (Psalm 38:7-9) 
3. Stop and take a moment to acknowledge that what the other person did was wrong, and then mentally will yourself to forgive the person.  You probably won’t feel very forgiving, because feelings are a result of our actions.  By forgiving this person, you will slowly turn your feelings of anger into sadness and not grow bitter against him.  (Matthew 18:21-22) 
4. Remind yourself that you are only responsible to do your best.  Don’t feel guilty for other people’s problems.  Don’t try to live up to other people’s expectations.  Don’t feel you are responsible to fix everything        (regardless of how much you might like to).  Be realistic about what you can and should do.  (Hebrews 12:1-2)
5. Try to react well.  Stop, swallow, and keep your mouth closed unless it will help the other person and the overall situation. Do confront wisely and with a sweet spirit when the Spirit of God leads you to do so… (Proverbs 13:3) 
6. PRAY: (Philippians 4:4-7)
• P-raise God for every good thing you can think of, read the Psalms, listen to praise tapes
• R-epent and confess (agree with God) about your own sins and shortcomings                    
• A-sk God for a tender heart and a proper perspective; pray for the other person’s needs    
• Y-ield yourself wholly to God--submit to His plan and will in this situation.
7. Make a list of all the good things about the other person and compliment him as often as possible (in private, in public, and to the Lord).  Hearing yourself say good things about him will go a long way toward rebuilding your own respect for him.  Practice being positive.  (Hebrews 10:24-25)
8. Do a reality check by asking: “How does God see this situation?”  (Proverbs 3:5-6) 
9. Take a day at a time and get on with life.  Getting back to the small details of everyday life gives you something to do besides thinking and worrying.  Doing normal activities also helps pass time, which brings healing.  (Matthew 6:34)
10. Go back and repeat these steps as often as possible until the crisis passes and you realize the growth God has made possible in your life and perhaps in your relationship with the other person.  (James 1:2-4)

Dear friend, if your present struggle is beyond the ordinary stress and strain of daily living, you may need to seek advice from a godly pastor or Christian counselor.  Do it.  Don’t wait.  Ask God to reveal a person of His choosing, and get the help you need.  We run to the doctor and specialists with our physical needs, but often find difficulty in seeking professional counsel for our heartaches.  I pray you will find the help and hope you need.

Copyright © 2008 - Nancy Sebastian Meyer. All rights reserved.
To request reproduction permission, contact Nancy.